Spiritual Slide Shows

I don’t have to do any more radiation therapy appointments, hence I’ve graduated from radiation treatments and I have the diploma to prove it:

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In my earlier blog/journal I wrote a post about finally going back to work. Barring any further treatments that get in the way I’ve decided that now is the time for me to return, so today was my first day back. I’m only going part time until the medical people say I’m able to be back 100%. Luckily it’s slow around here this time of year, but I’ve already racked up some rumor mills about my return and have heard backlash about people wanting my services so I’m grateful and also preparing myself to be sure that I’m able to be of true service to people I work with.

With that said, I must say I’m overwhelmed with the support I’ve received from people, both here at work and in church and with family/friends. Often times I don’t feel like I deserve it. There are others out there with more needs than I. Here I sit in my workspace filled with plenty of room and surrounded by good people, and there are people out there that we pass by every day who hide their issues (and for good reasons), but still would appreciate a message or two such as "It’s good to see you", or "we/I have been concerned for you and want to know what I/we can do for you." Plus, with the economy the way that it is, there are many who don’t have an environment at all to come to daily where they can interact with people in general.

My last two radiation appointments are today and tomorrow. I already have had the appointment for today and it was no different except for a meeting with the radiologist/oncologist who informed me that I could jumpstart my hair re-growth with rogaine. So after work I’m off to the store to get myself started on that.

Cheers

The reason for this post is to approach in all seriousness something that is verily important to me in light of the recent goings on, and with my future. I hope to convey it in a way that coincides with my desire to understand from a scientific point of view how cognition works and what makes someone intelligent vs. someone who is quick-witted, can score well on tests (IQ included), and increase their abilities in the long run.

A looong while ago, I made reference to something I coined "steroids for thinkers." In my view and opinions, the human mind is a special muscle for our bodies. It isn’t responsible for tactile or gross movement of limbs. It may tell other organs that they should do what they do, but ultimately it is the specific muscle that does the movement. Likewise the autonomous functions (respiratory, digestive, etc.) depend on the central nervous system to do what they do.

What I’m referring to here is a ‘muscle’ that’s by design the gateway into all our experiences, and dedicated to absorbing anything it possibly can.

If you’ve been reading, my brain’s a little broken right now. There have been improvements over the last 2-3 months, but I’m most interested in getting myself back to where I felt I was in December 2008…and quite possibly before that.

Brain tumors depending on where they are located affect the individuals they’ve become part of in different ways. My particular tumor was invasive-meaning that bad tumor cells (although benign) were occupying the space needed by normal cells. They were integrated so to speak in a way that the treatment was total gross resection of the tumor material and some of the good tissue around it. What was left is a tumor bed which is literally a large hole in the vastness of space in my skull.

During the time in my recovery, I’ve noticed that my personality (including behavior) isn’t 100% how I’d like it to be. I can still operate a computer, type, exercise, interact with people, find humorous situations, and spend time with those I care about. However, I’d like to be able to address the issues of learning on a personal level since I’ve declared myself a life-long learner and I’ve got lots more to do.

At least one reader made a comment a while ago about some personal views of one of my favorite educationists and took time to correct me in my abilities to convey his original thinking. I must reiterate that my intentions at the time were based on the information I had available to me at the time and the amount of time I had to put it together. My assertions were also based on my previous recovery 5 years ago of my ability to perform work and academic tasks at hand based on my certain academic discipline and subject area. Therefore I have no scientific proof for my views, other than it be my personal experience only. Wouldn’t it be nice if a formal study of such work could be done and made available? Well, maybe for a later time.

Tomorrow I get to visit my doctor who is serving as my neuro-rehab specialist for an initial consultation. I’m very interested in the types amd methods going to be used to help me get back to my former self. The prevous neuro-psyche evaluation a couple of months ago was enlightening to say the least. I scored high on some batteries of tests, but not as high as the staff would have liked based on someone my age who has not had brain damage. The specific area I didn’t do as well as they thought I could have was putting things in contextual order. (Truly that test was interesting and very challenging at the time) One of the areas they suggested as a form of therapy was speech or language. The justification or reasoning was because it can help with that contextual order deficit or whatever they wish to call it. In hindsight/retrospect, if I had the time and methods to go back to that conversation I would have been to retort to the doctors, "Backwards but talk don’t I!"

Alas, the seriousness of the situation probably wouldn’t have allowed for it. Ever since my first resection 5 years ago and subsequent recovery, my speech has never felt better so I’m interested to see what will come of it. I’ll post on the progress as the therapies are laid out.

Anyway this is the last link in letting me return to my normal self, I suppose. So I’ll let everyone know how it all turns out.

I woke up at my usual time this morning to get ready to go to the hospital for my daily radiation treatment. Getting "zapped" (my joke word with the radiology techs) on a regular basis hasn’t really been enlightening or draining me either way. It just seems part of life. I checked my phone messages this morning to see I had missed a call from my radiology techs saying their machine was down for the day so I could reschedule the appointment for a different day. I chose to have the day off like lots of others get Good Friday off, so I’ve been running around town running errands. FYI, yesterday it was confirmed with me by the radiologist that I only have 11 treatments left. Am I that done already? I guess so. For readers who consider themselves religious or at least rely on a higher power might consider this next bit interesting… (more…)

Well this is the beginning of the end, I suppose. I’ve made it through the first half of the radiation treatments. In all actuality the only drawback thus far has been the drive into downtown Phoenix on a daily basis. I’ve hit rush-hour a few times but if I get up early enought it’s really just like going to work somewhere downtown, if you can call laying down on the job a real job. Each visit takes only about 15-20 minutes and then I’m done.

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